So, I’m making it much simpler (for now anyway). Here is my top ten list. There are another half dozen that I very much liked and could have just as likely been in this list, but I had to cut it off somewhere.

1. Grizzly Bear – Veckatimest
2. Metric – Fantasies
3. Neko Case – Middle Cyclone
4. The XX – XX
5. The Dead Weather – Horehound
6. Amy Millan – Masters of the Burial
7. Phoenix – Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
8. Passion Pit – Manners
9. The Raveonettes – In and Out of Control
10. David Bazan – Curse Your Branches

In addition to our efforts to protest the bans on same-sex marriage around the country, we must remain aware and prepared for initiatives/propositions/measures similar to this in Arkansas to be on the agenda around the country in 2010.  I know in Oregon, there are groups actively working to overturn the laws that give EVERYONE in Oregon equal rights (short of marriage, of course). These ‘pro-family’ groups are determined to designate the members of the LGBT community as second-class citizens.

Dan Savage wrote a very good Op-Ed in the New York Times where he says most of what I would say about the initiative that was approved in Arkansas.

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http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/12/opinion/12savage.html?partner=p

Anti-Gay, Anti-Family

Published: November 12, 2008

Isn’t this a California issue?

Well, yes, and no.  In California, we have a situation where same-sex couples, many with children, have previously been granted the same rights and privileges as everyone else in the State, when they were allowed to be legally married in the State.  Now, after Proposition 8, those rights and privileges are being taken away from them.  It is bad enough for those of us in States where same-sex marriage has been rejected by voters–at least we haven’t been previously given the rights that everyone else receives, so nothing more is being taken aways from us.   But in California, the voters have actually TAKEN AWAY their rights.

Why is this important now and for everyone else in the country?

The LGBT community has seen attacks on our rights around this country every four years.  Thirty States have now passed bans on same-sex marriage.  Thirty States have said that gays and lesbians are not equal in the eyes of the law.  That statement alone should be a major wake-up call to everyone in this country.  In a country that was built on a premise of equality for everyone, there are still citizens who are not equal.

I debated for a long time whether I would write something on this or not.  I didn’t really know what I would say or how I would say it.  I’m a single gay male and I am not impacted by this, right?  Well, not exactly.  As long as fear and mis-information is allowed to control the laws of this country, the LGBT community will continue to be viewed as second-class citizens.

Following is an excellent statement by Keith Olbermann on MSNBC.  I encourage everyone to watch this and pass it on.

Again, please consider attending a protest rally in your area.  It is too important to sit on the sidelines anymore.

All across this country, we voted in record numbers. Regardless of who we voted for, most people still voted for a leader they hoped to be a catalyst for change. Both Barack Obama and John McCain had elements of that in their campaigns.

In his acceptance speech, as well as in other speeches by Obama previously, he highlighted the need for everyone to come together, regardless of political affiliation, gender, religious convictions, race, sexual orientation, or any other differences. To come together and give of ourselves to our community, to our State, to our Country, and even to our global community.

For far too long, we have sat back and asked our leaders ‘what are you going to do for me’ and we have hesitated to become a part of the solution. Now is the time that we all need to take action. The energy that has been generating among everyone during this election cycle needs to be refocused now toward an energy of service toward each other. The change we seek will not come by idly sitting on the sidelines. The change will come when we all come together and work toward the common goals. That will be the true transformation, of which Obama has suggested.

During his speech at the Democratic National Convention, Obama spoke about issues such as abortion and gay marriage. For both issues, he acknowledged that we all have very different views on these issues. However, for abortion, we can all start from a place where we acknowledge that we have many unwanted and abused children. We can find a solution for that. We can work together to lower the number of unwanted pregnancies. These are things on which we can all agree and we can work together in our communities, all the while lowering the ‘need’ for abortions and moving our focus from that issue toward an issue of caring for the needs of the people in our families and in our communities.

I am strongly encouraging everyone to become involved in community service of some sort. Whether it is through volunteer work or finding a job with a good service-oriented non-profit organization, the rewards have no limit. I also encourage everyone who stepped up during this election cycle and worked on a campaign to remain involved in the political process. Write letters to your leaders. Call your representatives and communicate your concerns and ideas. Attend the town halls that your representatives hold from time to time. I can say from experience that it makes a difference.

It was loudly proclaimed that ‘Yes We Can’ is now ‘Yes We Did’. As a country we’ve worked together in many ways to get to where we are. I implore everyone now to say ‘YES WE WILL’. Yes we will be a part of the change that we seek. Yes we will work side by side with our neighbors to truly transform the world around us by embracing the positive change we generate.

Well, if we are to follow the logic being forced upon us by the news media regarding Barak Obama’s continued membership in a church where his pastor said some things that he might not agree with (I’ll talk about the actual things that the Rev. Wright has said later), then I’m not to be trusted because I spent years sitting through sermons where things were preached that I didn’t agree with (and I believe are wrong).

Oh, I can probably think of many other things I’ve heard from various church pulpits over the years that I don’t agree with.  Does this make me a bad person because I continued to worship in those churches?  Or maybe less trustworthy?  I would hope not.

So, why can’t we evaluate our candidates based on their platforms and policies, and perhaps their political history.  But even with evaluating based on political histories, we know what happens when a candidate once voted on something and later changed his or her mind.  Their opponent and the media won’t let them stand on their current platform.  NO.  We are told we must judge a candidate on some views they once held but no longer do due to various reasons (which are usually explained by the candidate).

So, what about Rev. Jeremiah Wright’s comments?  Well, for one thing, if people actually paid attention to what he is actually saying…I mean the entire content of what he is saying…then they might actually find something they agree with.  Well, I guess that presupposes that the receiver of the comments might actually agree that we have problems with race in this country.

I very much hope that this election will cause the people in this country to finally acknowledge the issues of inequality on all levels:  racial, gender, nationality, sexual identity… no matter which Democratic candidate actually wins  (but can’t we all realize that Hillary really doesn’t have much hope, no matter how much we might not want to believe it?)

Remember, both in our Constitution and at the root of our religions, we are all created equal.

As I got older, I realized that I think differently and approach issues from a much different way. There were questions that school teachers would ask that seemed obvious to me that no one else in the class knew the answer to but there were also things everyone else knew that I somehow could never fully understand. But due to a few things I did know when called upon, I was viewed by my peers in school as being ‘super smart’.

I couldn’t play sports at all. I played trumped and tuba in the band. I preferred music and theatre and dance and gymnastics to sporting activities. I tended to spend more time with math and computers than with anything else. Yeah, I was the ultimate ‘token’ nerd at my small high school (that was so small there was only one of everything-one ‘jock’, one beauty queen, etc.).

And then, of course, there was this thing about being gay…accepting it and acknowledging it was impossible, it seemed, because I didn’t want to add any additional things for anyone to tease me about.

I didn’t want to be different.

For many years, I tried to live under the radar, for fear that someone would notice my flaws and call me out for them.

Now, moving into the current time (or starting about 10 years ago or so), I want nothing more than to be noticed. To be acknowledged. I am proud of my differences.

I am proud to be a gay man (even though I’m perpetually single). I wear my glasses like a badge of honor, embracing my geekiness as much as I can. I know I can opt for contact lenses. I can do lots of things to change my hair line. But I won’t. If I did, I wouldn’t feel like I was being completely honest with myself and not presenting the ‘true me’ to the world.

I know I still have issues with how I communicate things at times, mostly due to the way that my mind thinks. (I hope that isn’t interpreted as an excuse-it is just a fact that I know about myself) In my mind, my sentences are structured much differently than they should be, and often a praise for someone or something comes off like a back-handed compliment or even is interpreted as something negative.

In many ways, that is why I initially started promoting my art, my photography (yes, I’m finally comfortable calling it art) I realized that the perspectives I capture in my photographs and the subject matter I capture say a lot of things I am unable to fully articulate (and sometimes even understand). And actually, very recently, I have found that some of the things my photographs say about me are not comfortable things to deal with. But when people have told me about the truths they have seen in my art, it really has helped me and continues to help me become a better person. [that is why I constantly ask for people's thoughts-what does my art say to you about you, what does it say about me, what does it say about the world we live in; what is the story that being told by my photographs?]

I still find myself in a constant struggle for recognition and acknowledgment, but also an insecurity and timidity in ‘putting myself out there’. Whether that is for marketing myself and my photography or if it is more simply in talking to a cute guy in a bar. It is a constant internal struggle for me to say ‘pay attention to me’ and ‘I have something to contribute’ without revealing too many of my flaws (the most basic one is a fear that I will say something the wrong way…).

[Ah, but then I write it all out for the world to see here in this blog...]

I do owe a lot of gratitude recently to a few people around me. I have one very good friend who last week articulated some of these things from his perspective. That has helped me a lot and I hope he knows how grateful I am for that and for our friendship. I’ve also heard some recent interpretations of my photography by a couple of people whose opinions I very much admire. I have found that even when I’ve tried to hide behind my flaws, my art reveals everything.

I haven’t forgotten about this blogspace.  I’m just trying to figure out how best to utilize it.  in the near future, I will be using this space for documenting my trip to London this week.  Beyond that is anyone’s guess.  We’ll see…

So, I hope to get my next post here Wednesday or Thursday.