I hear it often.
“You’re not a fit for the work team” when trying to get a job.
“You’re not good enough to sit on our board or be a leader in the organization”
Or maybe it just isn’t quite verbalized because the person thinking that is afraid to be honest.
I know that as a person with Aspergers, I do not have a dynamic personality that draws you in. I know that many people do not even remember meeting me, even after a long conversation. I’m just not that person who most people even see.
But really, every time I am given the opportunity to prove myself or given the time for that one on one conversation over coffee or drinks, I can nearly always impress you with my knowledge and my passion for the subject.
But yeah, I understand. You aren’t used to dealing with someone who has Aspergers and really, you don’t even know that about me. To you, I’m just weird.
But I know that I am better than that. Take a chance, get to know me. Understand that we are all wired differently.
I’ve often heard it said that you cannot really achieve success without first experiencing failure and while I somewhat understood that, it is really quite different when I have actually been to the depths of perceived failure multiple times to accept the fact that some things work out well in life and some things don’t. The key is to just keep moving forward. I will keep putting myself out further and further, knowing that sometimes I will see amazing results and there will be other times where I will be held back from reaching my goals. When I’m held back, I try to learn how to get past the hurdles next time, usually. But as I get older, sometimes I just want to walk away. If I can no longer make a difference or no longer error feel like my voice is important, I will go elsewhere to continue trying to make a difference somewhere else. Hopefully somewhere that my leadership and contributions are more valued.
One door has closed on me, after nearly five years of standing at the threshold. I am turning to another door and knocking on that opportunity. Let’s see if this tenant is more welcoming and accepting of someone with a different perspective and a different voice.